Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Great Quotes by Comedians (condensed by me originally posted by NetScrap)
"If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me." --Bobcat Goldthwait
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" --Warren Hutcherson
"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." --Elayne Boosler
"Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" --John Mendoza
"Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second." --Steven Wright
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh." --Conan O'Brien
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." --Sue Murphy
"My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there." --Ron Richards
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight." --Rita Rudner
"I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." --Lily Tomlin
"I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it." --Steven Wright
"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner." --Lynda Montgomery
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" --Warren Hutcherson
"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." --Elayne Boosler
"Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" --John Mendoza
"Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second." --Steven Wright
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh." --Conan O'Brien
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." --Sue Murphy
"My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there." --Ron Richards
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight." --Rita Rudner
"I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." --Lily Tomlin
"I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it." --Steven Wright
"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner." --Lynda Montgomery
"There is probably no God. Now enjoy your life and stop worrying"
As I was scanning my daily RSS feeds, I noticed this article. The attitudes of the two sides are interesting.
Atheists:
Hanne Stinson, chief executive of the British Humanist Society, said the society supported the right of religious groups to post their messages but said the advertisements were "dogmatic and declaratory, leaving no room for reason and debate.""Our ads were undogmatic and funny, with the addition of the 'probably' in line with the continuing openness of humanists to new evidence," she said in a statement on the British Humanist Association Web site.
Christians:
"The atheist campaign has been something of a red rag to Christians and was begging for a response," said George Hargreaves, the head of the Christian Party, a religious group that fields candidates for elections to the European Parliament. "I got tired of seeing these messages on buses driving past my window and want to give people the chance to read something with hope."
Fear of rationalism sure makes some people upset.
Another Christian group has also joined the campaign, with a more confrontational message from Psalm 53:1, which reads: "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God."
That Psalm passage (btw) fully reads: The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, and have done abominable iniquity; There is none who does good.
No wonder the Christians are scared of the atheists.
Atheists:
Hanne Stinson, chief executive of the British Humanist Society, said the society supported the right of religious groups to post their messages but said the advertisements were "dogmatic and declaratory, leaving no room for reason and debate.""Our ads were undogmatic and funny, with the addition of the 'probably' in line with the continuing openness of humanists to new evidence," she said in a statement on the British Humanist Association Web site.
Christians:
"The atheist campaign has been something of a red rag to Christians and was begging for a response," said George Hargreaves, the head of the Christian Party, a religious group that fields candidates for elections to the European Parliament. "I got tired of seeing these messages on buses driving past my window and want to give people the chance to read something with hope."
Fear of rationalism sure makes some people upset.
Another Christian group has also joined the campaign, with a more confrontational message from Psalm 53:1, which reads: "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God."
That Psalm passage (btw) fully reads: The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, and have done abominable iniquity; There is none who does good.
No wonder the Christians are scared of the atheists.
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