I am 37 years old and have very little to show for it. Of course I have my two beautiful children and they are well behaved and respectful of the lives around them and our species in general, but personally my accomplishments have been meager.
I am not posting this as a "feel sorry for me" moment, just as a basis of where my mind is at this time.
So I have decided to drastically change many aspects of my life.
1) I am currently unemployed. I was quite successful in the mortgage/real estate industry while the going was good but since the economical crisis began (ironically because of the industry I was in), I have not been very successful and have since lost my job. My goal here is to go back to school to start fresh in an entirely different industry and begin a career in said industry. So I have enrolled in school to obtain my AAS in Medical Management and begin my courses on August 25, 2010. I have also applied for several entry level medical receptionist jobs.
2) My health is atrocious. I am over weight, I smoke, and I am generally *always* fatigued. My goal here is to lose weight, quit smoking, and eventually start exercising. So I am beginning a 1300 calorie diet on August 16, 2010 with a goal to lose 35 pounds by December 31, 2010 (my 38th birthday).
3) I have no control in my relationship with my current boyfriend. We have been dating for almost five years and I am beginning to question how much I have brought to the table in this relationship. I want him to love me unconditionally and show it. But how can I expect that when I don't love myself? We are very good together, we "get" each other and have the same values and morals. There is just something missing (at least in my mind). My goal here is to find happiness within myself, figure out how to boost my own self-esteem, and once I have found that healthy place within myself share it with him. This is a tough one. I think with the plans I have above I can begin to heal and hopefully the rest with fall in to place.
And so I begin. This is a lot of things to try to take on at once and I think my best refuge will be to write my feelings as I go. I am going to try to write at least 3-4 times a week, but we'll see. Wish me luck interwebs....but I don't think I will need it. I have made up my mind, and stubbornness and perseverance tend to be my strongest assets (and faults).
